British humour snippets!

by **zebadee** Sun 14 Mar 2010 - 13:32

What is a water otter?
A kettle.
------------------------------------------------
What government agency is responsible for finding lost vicars?
The Bureau of Missing Parsons.
------------------------------------------------
What is the opposite of woe?
Gee-up!
------------------------------------------------
How does a barber cut the moon's hair?
Eclipse it.
------------------------------------------------
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were having a rest in their hotel room when suddenly a tree walked in.
"Elm entry, my Dear Watson," said Holmes.
------------------------------------------------
Tourist: Can you tell me the way to Bath please?
Policeman: Well, first you turn on the hot and cold taps then ...
------------------------------------------------
Last night there was a big fight in our local fish and chip shop - a lot of fish got battered.
------------------------------------------------
I used to dress off the peg, but now my neighbours take in their washing at night.
------------------------------------------------
Saliva drools O.K.
------------------------------------------------
Postman: Is this letter for you? The name is smudged.
Man: No, it can't be for me, my name is Smith.